he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I smell stomach acid.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Im part way to drunk.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize