Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.