I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month