Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?