i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.