Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
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She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
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Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday