God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.