I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
