is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
