Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
