I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
