Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
