Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize