Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
