Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
