so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
