my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Randomize
