You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
