who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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