yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
