is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
did i just pee glitter
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
