I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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