He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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