well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
