mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Two words: blizzard sex
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
