Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
