At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
