Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
