DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
