Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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