meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
