how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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