I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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