I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I showed him my bush... on skype.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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