I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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