I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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