Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
