the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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