I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
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