she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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