he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Everclear isn't food dammit
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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