My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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