no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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