He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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