Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I have tasted many bathrooms
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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