Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You ruined the universe
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
