she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Randomize
