what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Do vagina's smell?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
