what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
