Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
