fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
