She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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