So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
