I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
