I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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