She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
