The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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