these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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