You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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