You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize