Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
