508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
