He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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