I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
then he tried to convert me to islam
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize