I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
