omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
