Since when is my name a synonym for head?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize