just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
