Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
