so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
