Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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