he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
