If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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