For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize