As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
